Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Eagles doing everything right, leaving fans outraged.

The Philadelphia Eagles announced Wednesday that former Oregon Ducks coach, Chip Kelly, will take over as the Birds Head Hancho. "Chip Kelly will be an outstanding head coach for the eagles." Eagles owner Jeffery Lurie said of the new coach. " He has a brilliant football mind."

"What makes Howie Roseman think we want to be back in the playoffs already? One eagles fan told HWG Radio. "Does he not see how much fun we are having bitching about this franchise? It's the only thing that has been keeping me going lately." 

 Eagles fans are lashing out all over social media about the hiring of Chip Kelly. "I hate Chip Kelly. This sucks!" said one Eagles Fan, "No one in this town is ready to be good again. We were hoping for a Gruden or a Cower to come in here for 2 or 3 years and continue on the same path we were going on for the past 100 years. Have you seen how miserable people are in Boston? We don't want that here. And now were gonna be in the playoffs all the time and have nothing to bitch about..."  

Chip Kelly boasts a 6-2 record against Jim Harbaugh and Pete Carroll from his time at Oregon, the same Harbaugh and Carroll who came out of the PAC 12 and took their young teams to the playoffs this year with 2 QBs who were starting for the first time in the NFL.

One Eagles Fan isn't buying the Chip Kelly Hype...

"Yea there are some similarities between Chip Kelly and those guys, but so what." "Yes, OK, so these two former PAC-12 coaches took over teams that were in great sports cities but were having bad years. They developed their young talent and used an overall disciplined, Team First approach.  Both Coaches developed young talent at the QB position. And they were both in the playoffs this year. But what does any of that have to do with Philadelphia..."

To us, at Here We Go Radio, it seems the fan base of the Eagles are angry, but why? The formula for success in this era seems to be written on the wall and the Eagles are following it perfectly.

How to turn a sub par team into a playoff team.

Step 1. Fire a stale NFL Coach.
Step 2: Bring in young talent at the QB Position. 

 Step 3: Bring in a great college coach, preferably from the PAC 12

Step 4: Make the Playoffs.  

So why all of the push back?

"It's not our time! No one in Philly is ready for a Football Championship. We are much happier spending our break time bitching about our coach and quarterback than we would ever be celebrating a Superbowl. Now we have a promising QB and a great coach? No, no no no no! It's too much! Chip Kelly was the best option for Philly. He made the most sense, especially with the way Carroll and Harbaugh took their teams to the playoffs. And thats why it was such a bad move. What are we supposed to talk about all day... how happy we are?  F that!" -Ed Rendell

It seems that Philly is doing everything right for a change, and the Eagles fans just dont like it. We will see how the season plays out, but it seems like the old way of cheering for the Eagles may be ending.


Monday, January 14, 2013

Source: Flu Season is a Hoax.

In one of the most elaborate hoaxes in history, Middle Class Americans admit that "Flu Season" is all fake.

"It is a tradition passed down through my family. Every year my husband and I start faking a cough around the same time and all the sudden, the whole neighborhood is 'Sick'." - an insider told HWG Radio. (she chose to remain nameless). " Our kids are even in on it. They recently started a twitter trend warning people that 'the flu is coming" and sure enough... sick people everywhere."

Scientists everywhere are baffled, as they thought, for sure,  that the flu was a real thing. "I am baffled...I thought, for sure, that the flu was a real thing." said a scientist. 

The cause of this nation wide hoax is still up in the air... "We think, as soon as someone hears 'flu' they automatically go into Paid Time Off mode. There is also the shared ideology that laying in bed all day is awesome.. which, it kinda is." a source told HWG Radio. "Middle Class Americans are lazy as shit... so lazy, in fact, that they fake an epidemic every single year. My boss has no idea, and I get a week off to play Call of Duty." 

47 states have reported regional or widespread outbreaks. And according to a recent poll, 29 states are freaking the fuck out...

"Its Just about everywhere," said Jeffery Shaman, a professor at Columbia Univ.'s Mailman School of Public Health. "Its a very intense transmission season , probably the most intense we've seen in decades" 

"That guy is full of shit." our insider told us. "Mailman School of Public Health? Is that an online school or something?"  

We asked one man if he faked the flu and his response may shock you... "Yes" he said. 

Not everyone knows this is all a fake, however. "I get my flu shot every year so i don't have to worry about it" said a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. "I am not getting that poor peoples disease.I don't have time to cough." 

Sources tell us even Walgreen's and CVS are in on it. "We have been pumping sugar water into people for years!" said a former Walgreen's employee. "Flu vaccine? HAHA get a clue people." 

It seems even the Doctors are in on it. "I am not at liberty to say if the flu is fake, but i will say, that trip to Cabo in March won't pay for itself, if you know what I mean. HAHAHAHA... Yes I capitalize off of dumb people of course. It's the American Dream." A Pennsylvania Doctor told HWG Radio. 

It's hard to imagine the millions of people taking part in this elaborate hoax without someone catching on. "A Fox affiliate came close, but because it was on fox, no one really listened to it, thankfully." Our insider told us. "How long is this interview going to last... I have an entire day of jack shit to do, I'm out sick with the flu. LOL" 

You may be wondering how we got this source to talk. Well, lets just say, it got weird.

More news as it comes in. 


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Thursday, January 3, 2013

Sources point to key sources being the real source of all of the recent sorcery.

Late Wednesday night, the news started circulating about a possible change, and it wasn't long after that, that the rumors started flying about a drastic move involving multiple parties. "We can't give out the source, but we have reason to believe there could be a person, place or thing involved that we may not even know about yet." Our insider told us. "This could be HUGE!"

A source close to the source of all of this new information, cited a close source to the actual source of the issue. "Sources are talking." A local source said Friday, "And they are telling me a lot. Be ready for some big time breaking news."

We dropped in on a meeting of league officials who had heard from a source close to the teams that a key player in the carousel may or may not have found a destination. "It's hard to say at this point, but we have people on the ground who know exactly what is going on and and are keeping us informed. When the news breaks, you will certainly hear it here first , so be sure to stay glued to my twitter. heard it here first... Unless, of course, it's bad information."

This compelling saga seems to finally have some clarity ahead. There seems to be rumblings at the top, and the ripple effect is being felt throughout the league.

The pieces are still coming together but stay posted to our twitter account @herewego_radio for the latest on this always developing story.


Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Andy Reid de-friends Philly Fans. Roseman is all like "A/S/L" to available coaches.

As 2Gether once taught us, Breaking up is hard enough (ohhhh-oh-oh). But Philly Fans can't seem to let go of Andy Reid. 

Much to the chagrin of Philly Fans,  Andy Reid has de-friended it's long-time love interest, after Philadelphia sports news outlets "wouldn't shut the hell up and hop off his dick." a source close to Reid told HWG Radio. "It went from 'I'm done wit dat MothaF#$%a' to 'Whats he doing now? Does he talk about me? Who is he talking to? Where is he now? Does he miss me?' so he had to do something drastic...something that would let her know that their relationship was done, for good...he had to de-friend her."

We were able to catch up with Philly Fans to get their side of the story...

"We were fighting a lot. He just kept doing the same shit, over and over... All of my besties were like, really supportive... and his mustache was starting to stink." Philly said about Andy, "We dated for 14 years! Do you have any idea what it's like to be with someone for that long and never get a ring? It was sooo embarrassing! All of my friends were getting rings from their skinny good looking men and my fat, stupid BF was just sitting around being stupid. I was like OMG either get me a ring or get out! and he didn't so I changed our status. 

Philly Fans seemed less than satisfied with Andy's time "In" Philly.

  Don't even get me started with his "performance". I thought he would be the first to take me all the way, you know? I mean I've had a couple others who barely knew what they were doing with their pen, but he looked like a guy who could draw up a formation or two if you know what i mean... he came close so many times, maybe that's why i stayed with him for so long... but just like the others, he could never finish. I don't get it! I'm Philly, I'm hot right? Ugh Whatever!"

Philly voiced her opinion about recent rumors floating around twitter...

"I saw he was talking to some super-skanky whore from Scottsdale though. Like, are you kidding me? Scottsdale, really?  I mean, yea we broke up but like that doesn't mean he can just like, go around talking to skanks? I don't know why she wants him anyway. He's like, super gross."

When told former Eagles QB Kevin Kolb is currently a backup in AZ, Philly Fans had this to say...                                                                                                    "Oh... I see... that simple minded, asshole, white trash, wanna be gangster Kevin probably told Andy about Scottsdale. He tried to mess things up between me and Andy a couple years back. He's a worthless, no talent douchebag. He's just gonna bring Andy down, like he tried to do when we were together.  I'm definitely telling my girl Houston about this... She's had a crush on Kevin for years... maybe she will get him out of there before it's too late." 

And finally, after hours of incoherent jargon and hand gestures, the truth came out... along with the tears...

"It's just like, hard you know?  I still love him and  when I saw he blocked me, and I couldn't check on what he was doing, I got really scared, you know?  Yea I may have sent him like 2 texts or whatever,  (Reid's phone records show 82 texts, 30 Direct Messages on Facebook and 19 Snapchats, from Philly Fans in the past 72 hours) but I only wanted to talk. What? So ex's aren't allowed to talk to each other now? God! Then I got a tweet from Shefty that Andy was getting poked by some other team on Facebook  and they were DM'ing and shit, and I'm all like, WTF? Already? SMFH! and Howie is already talking to all these other guys trying to set me up and i don't want to be with any of them, They're all so gross... it's just happening way too fast, I'm like, super stressed. I just wish we could just go back to "It's complicated." 

It seems as if Philly Fans just can't let go of Andy. ESPN reports that Reid has been talking to the Arizona Cardinals about their current vacancy, and they could be "Facebook Official" as early as next week. 

We could not reach Andy for comment but we did catch a tweet that he sent out from his personal account and quickly erased... 

DonnyMac4lyfe: Ya'll ain't shit. Good luck with that nerd Howie Roseman. Gettin myself a Wiz Wit and bouncin'! @LarryFitzgerald here i come, playa! Not 1, Not 2.. ROFL. LMFAO. #Deuces.

More news as it comes in.  -HWG

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Sources; Reid Top Candidate for Philadelphia Job.

With the firing of Andy Reid looming, it has been noted that the Philadelphia is activity looking for a head coach as we speak. "We have a short list of guys that we are pursuing. We are really happy with the interest in our team." Team owner Jeffery Lurie told reporters Sunday night.

Among that short list is former head coach Andrew "Andy" Reid, who spent 14 years with his previous team. Howie Roseman told Eagles Beat reporter, Tim McManus, "We feel he fits everything we are looking for in a long term coach. We saw what he did with his last team and we are excited to see what he can do here."

With a long list of possible suitors for Reid it may be a tough get. "Reid is in high demand, and we know that, so we are going to put our best foot forward in getting him here, ASAP." Said Rosman of the veteran coach. "After the disappointment we suffered over the last 14 years we strongly believe that Reid will be a breath of fresh air in the locker room and the city of Philadelphia."

Hiring a new coach is a very arduous process but it seems as if the Eagles brass have been doing their homework. "We have been watching Andy (Reid) over the past few years and we are very impressed with what we see." A team official told McManus. "We have to find the guy that will turn our team around right now, and he could very well be that guy. He fits everything we want as a head coach here in Philly."

Only time will tell, but it sounds like there is an overwhelming favorite in the Philadelphia organization. We, at Here We Go Radio, don't know very much about Reid but we will be sure to look into his credentials and report back. But for now, rest easy Eagles Fans, we are finally getting the change we so desperately wanted.

Friday, December 21, 2012

lets be honest..

What i am listening to right now... 

The world could end any minute so i figured this would be a good time to just say some things that i probably shouldn't say. But i have to say them or else they will follow me to the land of misfit toys when i die.

Why do we lie to each other about their babies? I have seen maybe 4 new born babies that were actually tolerable to look at for more than 3 seconds, yet we tell everyone how BEAUTIFUL their baby is. "OH MY GOSH BETTY...SHE HAS THE MOST ADORABLE LITTLE NOSE..." STOP THAT SHIT. you don't think the person who had the baby knows ur bullshitting them? They can see their baby... they should accept the fact that it looks like it was just shoved out of a vagina... its nature. in fact women should be proud of their babies scrunched up head, because that means it was a tighter squeeze to get that thing out... right? Sounds right to me...
If the mother of this child had it in her head that her baby was "the cutest baby in the world" she needs an intervention. You're child is ugly, and it is entirely your fault. (barring any deformities). And don't blame it on God. You decided to bang the slew footed mongoloid and u got yourself a mini gloid. Nature sucks. Deal with it. 

The fact is, babies are almost always ugly, and thats OK. Not everyone is perfect. Just don't expect me to comment on how beautiful your baby is when it looks like a Ball Bag with eyes. If you're feeling down about your babies wonky eye and terrible bone structure just look at it this way... imagine how good the plastic surgeons will be when your kid is grown. 


I hate black porn. Whenever there is a black guy in a porno i turn it off immediately. Why is that? Does that make me racist? I feel like you have to have some kind of weird fetish to enjoy watching black people have sex in a porn. I think black people are beautiful creative, funny, loving, great people. I wanted to be black until i was about 16. they were just always cooler than me. but i cant watch them F. I just can't. You know the stereotype that black people are too loud in the movie theater...well i have never experienced it in a theater but its definitely the case in porn... how the hell am i supposed to concentrate when Anaconda  Jones is yellin at this broad who looks like she is being robbed. And do the black guys really have to have such big.dicks. Like, when i watch it, it makes me wonder what women really think about me... if it is possible to get that huge thing into that little girl, then i am literally throwing a hot dog down a hallway when i have sex. It is embarrassing, but it's a good wake up call i guess. black porn... it scares me and i don't like it at all. 


We have a lot of people in the world already.. i think its time to discuss.Selective Breeding. In fact, i think we are way late on this front. I recently had to sit in a meeting with a gigantic broad, who looked like she smelled. When u look like you smell, you just shouldn't be here. And it would have been fine if on top of everything else she wasn't such a complete egotistical bitch. i was 1 second away from saying "hey huskypants...u probably have gigantic nipples and a terrible crotch. stop being such a c**t" but i cant say that...
So i propose that no baby can be born into the world without a pre-sex panel OKing the parents. Each person should go through a test to determine if it is ok for them to procreate and like a car registration, they will have to get inspected every couple years. If they fail the genetics test they will then take a "fit parents" test in which this panel of people will determine of they can raise an adopted baby. and if they fail that then, sorry, get a F'ing cat u idiot. I can think of at least 30 people who should have never been born maybe even more if i really put some elbow grease into it. 
Getting to the point, if we restrict what people put into their bodies, then we need to start restricting what comes out of them... China kinda gets it. 

And the following are texts i received when i asked my friends...

"What are some things you would say if you knew the world was ending tomorrow..."

- "Princess Diana led the paparazzi on"
-"My grandpa told me Jesus was killed because he wanted to marry  a black girl... I've never told anyone that"

-"Melissa Joan Hart gave me my first semi."

-"Rhianna kinda deserved it.... dont get me wrong.. id still bang her."

-"I want to bang teenage alex mac then leave through the ladder"

-"Fapping to Olympic gymnastics is acceptable"
-"Roosavelt was a f'ing dickhead...".

-"Clinton was our first black president...because he slang that dick"

- "after my wife gave birth. I slipped a $100 to the doctor for an extra stitch".
-"The mom from Home improvement was most likely a 'Face Sitter'."

-"I masturbate to the kill scenes in Scream 3"
-"My mom didnt let me watch Fresh Prince because she said it "gave me the wrong idea about blacks"

Thaaats enough for today. 

sorry if this post offended you...



Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Thin the Herd...

What i am listening to right now:

There are way too many people on the earth. Bill Burr was right when he said the next time there is a pandemic ... just let it take its course. Thin the herd...

When we can't even help KIDS with mental disabilities, how the hell can we call ourselves successful. It amazes me that in today's society, we can invent a machine that can fly, unmanned, and bomb entire villages, yet we can't properly treat a mental illness in one of the wealthiest counties in Connecticut. We can hit an Ant in North Korean with a Nuclear Missile using a device the size of an iphone yet we can't give a kid the time of day to just freaking listen him or her. We can update our Facebook Status, write a blog, send a tweet about Brett Favre's dick, watch Elizabeth Hasselbeck try to form sentences with Mitt Romney's ball bag hitting her in the eyes.... ok im getting carried away.. the point is... we spend a lot of time worrying about ourselves, and then bitch about the fact that no one paid attention to the kid who shot up a school. 

I would like to invent a bullshit-o-meter for Facebook status's that made you answer a series of relative questions before you were able to publish a status. As soon as someone said "F Lanza, he's evil" i would have it quiz them on mental disabilities and if they didn't know jack shit, Zuckerberg would send one of those unmanned aircrafts to the person's location and drop 35 LBs of horse semen on their keyboard. And same goes for the people who say "No one paid attention to him! Bad parenting"... the quiz would read Q: "When was the last time u spent quality time with a child with a mental disability?" good chance the answer would be NEVER. in which case, Automatic Semen Shower. 

Editors Note: Like we said, this blog is a literal dumping grounds for our thoughts and feelings. Most of the time they are funny but sometimes we are faced with reality. 

This kid, Lanza, (and i say kid because he was younger than me and i do not yet consider myself to be a man yet..because i have yet to kill an animal in the wild) was said to have Multiple Personality Disorder (MDP) as well as Aspergers. He was probably suffering from a laundry list of other issues including but not limited to Self Harm, Depression, Anxiety, as well as other more specific social disorders like Oppositional Defiance and Impulses. The kids mind was fucked up, and its plain as day that not enough was done to help him cope with the bull shit he has to wake up with every single day. Do you think it is fun waking up with a truly insane mind? Talk to anyone who has lost a limb and ask them which would be worse, losing limbs or losing your rational mind? and i guarantee you they would chop their own dick off before they lost control of their mind. Eric LeGrande, a man who is paralyzed from the neck down, and one of my biggest inspirations was quoted as saying, "I may have lost my body for the time being, but i didnt lose the most important thing, my mind." Imagine having very little control over your outbursts, your anger, your actions, your emotions. Imagine waking up and seeing your mother and truly believing she was the devil and it was your job to kill her and everyone of the babies that she was teaching because they too were learning how to be satanic creatures. Imagine if that was your reality? Sounds irrational.... but only to the lucky ones. 

We are incredibly lucky to have our rational minds. Some people have no concept of right and wrong, good or bad, evil or righteous. Some people look at what Lanza did and can only equate it to stealing a candy bar from a convenience store or even think Lanza is a hero, saving us all from evil. But because, when i wake up i put my socks on before my shoes and i have a well balanced diet, everyone else does the same... Are you nuts? PEOPLE ARE ALL INSANE...ALL OF US... AND THE ONLY THING THAT SEPARATES YOU, FROM LANZA IS THE SEVERITY OF YOUR INSANITY. 

My point in all of this is to get you to take 1 night out of your "busy" life to read up on mental illness. Try to understand it as best u can, then have an INFORMED OPINION about the events at Sandy Run. Stop being impressed by the BS you do on a daily basis and start helping people that can't help themselves. Make sure that, before u spend 1 second trying to talk about Gun Control, you understand why an Uncontrolled Mind is the weapon and not an Uncontrolled gun. That's another topic for another  time but blaming this tragedy on a gun is real convenient for us... taking the blame away from people... because we are so incredibly flawless. i witnessed a man get taken to the hospital because he held in his shit too long and his colon burst. He was waiting in line to buy Halo. Now if u think we are not F'ed up u are out of your mind. 

my computer is at 8% so let me wrap this up. Again i won't edit this simply because i dont want it to sound too formal. I want you to read it as my brain is saying it. Kinda like mind vomit. But heres the moral of the story. Know what the F you're talking about before you open your mouth. Your opinion is not as important as you think, so make it worth a listen. Lanza was not evil, he was insane, and with the right amount of attention, we may never even know his name... but now we do...unfortunately. 

Check out this powerful article by a mother of a child much like Adam Lanza....