Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Andy Reid de-friends Philly Fans. Roseman is all like "A/S/L" to available coaches.

As 2Gether once taught us, Breaking up is hard enough (ohhhh-oh-oh). But Philly Fans can't seem to let go of Andy Reid. 

Much to the chagrin of Philly Fans,  Andy Reid has de-friended it's long-time love interest, after Philadelphia sports news outlets "wouldn't shut the hell up and hop off his dick." a source close to Reid told HWG Radio. "It went from 'I'm done wit dat MothaF#$%a' to 'Whats he doing now? Does he talk about me? Who is he talking to? Where is he now? Does he miss me?' so he had to do something drastic...something that would let her know that their relationship was done, for good...he had to de-friend her."

We were able to catch up with Philly Fans to get their side of the story...

"We were fighting a lot. He just kept doing the same shit, over and over... All of my besties were like, really supportive... and his mustache was starting to stink." Philly said about Andy, "We dated for 14 years! Do you have any idea what it's like to be with someone for that long and never get a ring? It was sooo embarrassing! All of my friends were getting rings from their skinny good looking men and my fat, stupid BF was just sitting around being stupid. I was like OMG either get me a ring or get out! and he didn't so I changed our status. 

Philly Fans seemed less than satisfied with Andy's time "In" Philly.

  Don't even get me started with his "performance". I thought he would be the first to take me all the way, you know? I mean I've had a couple others who barely knew what they were doing with their pen, but he looked like a guy who could draw up a formation or two if you know what i mean... he came close so many times, maybe that's why i stayed with him for so long... but just like the others, he could never finish. I don't get it! I'm Philly, I'm hot right? Ugh Whatever!"

Philly voiced her opinion about recent rumors floating around twitter...

"I saw he was talking to some super-skanky whore from Scottsdale though. Like, are you kidding me? Scottsdale, really?  I mean, yea we broke up but like that doesn't mean he can just like, go around talking to skanks? I don't know why she wants him anyway. He's like, super gross."

When told former Eagles QB Kevin Kolb is currently a backup in AZ, Philly Fans had this to say...                                                                                                    "Oh... I see... that simple minded, asshole, white trash, wanna be gangster Kevin probably told Andy about Scottsdale. He tried to mess things up between me and Andy a couple years back. He's a worthless, no talent douchebag. He's just gonna bring Andy down, like he tried to do when we were together.  I'm definitely telling my girl Houston about this... She's had a crush on Kevin for years... maybe she will get him out of there before it's too late." 

And finally, after hours of incoherent jargon and hand gestures, the truth came out... along with the tears...

"It's just like, hard you know?  I still love him and  when I saw he blocked me, and I couldn't check on what he was doing, I got really scared, you know?  Yea I may have sent him like 2 texts or whatever,  (Reid's phone records show 82 texts, 30 Direct Messages on Facebook and 19 Snapchats, from Philly Fans in the past 72 hours) but I only wanted to talk. What? So ex's aren't allowed to talk to each other now? God! Then I got a tweet from Shefty that Andy was getting poked by some other team on Facebook  and they were DM'ing and shit, and I'm all like, WTF? Already? SMFH! and Howie is already talking to all these other guys trying to set me up and i don't want to be with any of them, They're all so gross... it's just happening way too fast, I'm like, super stressed. I just wish we could just go back to "It's complicated." 

It seems as if Philly Fans just can't let go of Andy. ESPN reports that Reid has been talking to the Arizona Cardinals about their current vacancy, and they could be "Facebook Official" as early as next week. 

We could not reach Andy for comment but we did catch a tweet that he sent out from his personal account and quickly erased... 

DonnyMac4lyfe: Ya'll ain't shit. Good luck with that nerd Howie Roseman. Gettin myself a Wiz Wit and bouncin'! @LarryFitzgerald here i come, playa! Not 1, Not 2.. ROFL. LMFAO. #Deuces.

More news as it comes in.  -HWG

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