Sunday, December 30, 2012

Sources; Reid Top Candidate for Philadelphia Job.

With the firing of Andy Reid looming, it has been noted that the Philadelphia is activity looking for a head coach as we speak. "We have a short list of guys that we are pursuing. We are really happy with the interest in our team." Team owner Jeffery Lurie told reporters Sunday night.

Among that short list is former head coach Andrew "Andy" Reid, who spent 14 years with his previous team. Howie Roseman told Eagles Beat reporter, Tim McManus, "We feel he fits everything we are looking for in a long term coach. We saw what he did with his last team and we are excited to see what he can do here."

With a long list of possible suitors for Reid it may be a tough get. "Reid is in high demand, and we know that, so we are going to put our best foot forward in getting him here, ASAP." Said Rosman of the veteran coach. "After the disappointment we suffered over the last 14 years we strongly believe that Reid will be a breath of fresh air in the locker room and the city of Philadelphia."

Hiring a new coach is a very arduous process but it seems as if the Eagles brass have been doing their homework. "We have been watching Andy (Reid) over the past few years and we are very impressed with what we see." A team official told McManus. "We have to find the guy that will turn our team around right now, and he could very well be that guy. He fits everything we want as a head coach here in Philly."

Only time will tell, but it sounds like there is an overwhelming favorite in the Philadelphia organization. We, at Here We Go Radio, don't know very much about Reid but we will be sure to look into his credentials and report back. But for now, rest easy Eagles Fans, we are finally getting the change we so desperately wanted.

Friday, December 21, 2012

lets be honest..


What i am listening to right now... 


The world could end any minute so i figured this would be a good time to just say some things that i probably shouldn't say. But i have to say them or else they will follow me to the land of misfit toys when i die.

 #1. YOUR BABY LOOKS LIKE MY SACK! 
Why do we lie to each other about their babies? I have seen maybe 4 new born babies that were actually tolerable to look at for more than 3 seconds, yet we tell everyone how BEAUTIFUL their baby is. "OH MY GOSH BETTY...SHE HAS THE MOST ADORABLE LITTLE NOSE..." STOP THAT SHIT. you don't think the person who had the baby knows ur bullshitting them? They can see their baby... they should accept the fact that it looks like it was just shoved out of a vagina... its nature. in fact women should be proud of their babies scrunched up head, because that means it was a tighter squeeze to get that thing out... right? Sounds right to me...
If the mother of this child had it in her head that her baby was "the cutest baby in the world" she needs an intervention. You're child is ugly, and it is entirely your fault. (barring any deformities). And don't blame it on God. You decided to bang the slew footed mongoloid and u got yourself a mini gloid. Nature sucks. Deal with it. 

The fact is, babies are almost always ugly, and thats OK. Not everyone is perfect. Just don't expect me to comment on how beautiful your baby is when it looks like a Ball Bag with eyes. If you're feeling down about your babies wonky eye and terrible bone structure just look at it this way... imagine how good the plastic surgeons will be when your kid is grown. 

#2 DOES HATING BLACK PORN MAKE ME RACIST?

I hate black porn. Whenever there is a black guy in a porno i turn it off immediately. Why is that? Does that make me racist? I feel like you have to have some kind of weird fetish to enjoy watching black people have sex in a porn. I think black people are beautiful creative, funny, loving, great people. I wanted to be black until i was about 16. they were just always cooler than me. but i cant watch them F. I just can't. You know the stereotype that black people are too loud in the movie theater...well i have never experienced it in a theater but its definitely the case in porn... how the hell am i supposed to concentrate when Anaconda  Jones is yellin at this broad who looks like she is being robbed. And do the black guys really have to have such big.dicks. Like, when i watch it, it makes me wonder what women really think about me... if it is possible to get that huge thing into that little girl, then i am literally throwing a hot dog down a hallway when i have sex. It is embarrassing, but it's a good wake up call i guess. black porn... it scares me and i don't like it at all. 


#3. PRE-SEX PANEL. 

We have a lot of people in the world already.. i think its time to discuss.Selective Breeding. In fact, i think we are way late on this front. I recently had to sit in a meeting with a gigantic broad, who looked like she smelled. When u look like you smell, you just shouldn't be here. And it would have been fine if on top of everything else she wasn't such a complete egotistical bitch. i was 1 second away from saying "hey huskypants...u probably have gigantic nipples and a terrible crotch. stop being such a c**t" but i cant say that...
So i propose that no baby can be born into the world without a pre-sex panel OKing the parents. Each person should go through a test to determine if it is ok for them to procreate and like a car registration, they will have to get inspected every couple years. If they fail the genetics test they will then take a "fit parents" test in which this panel of people will determine of they can raise an adopted baby. and if they fail that then, sorry, get a F'ing cat u idiot. I can think of at least 30 people who should have never been born maybe even more if i really put some elbow grease into it. 
Getting to the point, if we restrict what people put into their bodies, then we need to start restricting what comes out of them... China kinda gets it. 

And the following are texts i received when i asked my friends...

"What are some things you would say if you knew the world was ending tomorrow..."

- "Princess Diana led the paparazzi on"
.
-"My grandpa told me Jesus was killed because he wanted to marry  a black girl... I've never told anyone that"

-"Melissa Joan Hart gave me my first semi."

-"Rhianna kinda deserved it.... dont get me wrong.. id still bang her."

-"I want to bang teenage alex mac then leave through the ladder"

-"Fapping to Olympic gymnastics is acceptable"
-"Roosavelt was a f'ing dickhead...".

-"Clinton was our first black president...because he slang that dick"

- "after my wife gave birth. I slipped a $100 to the doctor for an extra stitch".
-"The mom from Home improvement was most likely a 'Face Sitter'."

-"I masturbate to the kill scenes in Scream 3"
-"My mom didnt let me watch Fresh Prince because she said it "gave me the wrong idea about blacks"

Thaaats enough for today. 

sorry if this post offended you...

goodbye. 

-anonymous. 



Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Thin the Herd...



What i am listening to right now:

There are way too many people on the earth. Bill Burr was right when he said the next time there is a pandemic ... just let it take its course. Thin the herd...

When we can't even help KIDS with mental disabilities, how the hell can we call ourselves successful. It amazes me that in today's society, we can invent a machine that can fly, unmanned, and bomb entire villages, yet we can't properly treat a mental illness in one of the wealthiest counties in Connecticut. We can hit an Ant in North Korean with a Nuclear Missile using a device the size of an iphone yet we can't give a kid the time of day to just freaking listen him or her. We can update our Facebook Status, write a blog, send a tweet about Brett Favre's dick, watch Elizabeth Hasselbeck try to form sentences with Mitt Romney's ball bag hitting her in the eyes.... ok im getting carried away.. the point is... we spend a lot of time worrying about ourselves, and then bitch about the fact that no one paid attention to the kid who shot up a school. 

I would like to invent a bullshit-o-meter for Facebook status's that made you answer a series of relative questions before you were able to publish a status. As soon as someone said "F Lanza, he's evil" i would have it quiz them on mental disabilities and if they didn't know jack shit, Zuckerberg would send one of those unmanned aircrafts to the person's location and drop 35 LBs of horse semen on their keyboard. And same goes for the people who say "No one paid attention to him! Bad parenting"... the quiz would read Q: "When was the last time u spent quality time with a child with a mental disability?" good chance the answer would be NEVER. in which case, Automatic Semen Shower. 

Editors Note: Like we said, this blog is a literal dumping grounds for our thoughts and feelings. Most of the time they are funny but sometimes we are faced with reality. 

This kid, Lanza, (and i say kid because he was younger than me and i do not yet consider myself to be a man yet..because i have yet to kill an animal in the wild) was said to have Multiple Personality Disorder (MDP) as well as Aspergers. He was probably suffering from a laundry list of other issues including but not limited to Self Harm, Depression, Anxiety, as well as other more specific social disorders like Oppositional Defiance and Impulses. The kids mind was fucked up, and its plain as day that not enough was done to help him cope with the bull shit he has to wake up with every single day. Do you think it is fun waking up with a truly insane mind? Talk to anyone who has lost a limb and ask them which would be worse, losing limbs or losing your rational mind? and i guarantee you they would chop their own dick off before they lost control of their mind. Eric LeGrande, a man who is paralyzed from the neck down, and one of my biggest inspirations was quoted as saying, "I may have lost my body for the time being, but i didnt lose the most important thing, my mind." Imagine having very little control over your outbursts, your anger, your actions, your emotions. Imagine waking up and seeing your mother and truly believing she was the devil and it was your job to kill her and everyone of the babies that she was teaching because they too were learning how to be satanic creatures. Imagine if that was your reality? Sounds irrational.... but only to the lucky ones. 

We are incredibly lucky to have our rational minds. Some people have no concept of right and wrong, good or bad, evil or righteous. Some people look at what Lanza did and can only equate it to stealing a candy bar from a convenience store or even think Lanza is a hero, saving us all from evil. But because, when i wake up i put my socks on before my shoes and i have a well balanced diet, everyone else does the same... Are you nuts? PEOPLE ARE ALL INSANE...ALL OF US... AND THE ONLY THING THAT SEPARATES YOU, FROM LANZA IS THE SEVERITY OF YOUR INSANITY. 

My point in all of this is to get you to take 1 night out of your "busy" life to read up on mental illness. Try to understand it as best u can, then have an INFORMED OPINION about the events at Sandy Run. Stop being impressed by the BS you do on a daily basis and start helping people that can't help themselves. Make sure that, before u spend 1 second trying to talk about Gun Control, you understand why an Uncontrolled Mind is the weapon and not an Uncontrolled gun. That's another topic for another  time but blaming this tragedy on a gun is real convenient for us... taking the blame away from people... because we are so incredibly flawless. i witnessed a man get taken to the hospital because he held in his shit too long and his colon burst. He was waiting in line to buy Halo. Now if u think we are not F'ed up u are out of your mind. 

my computer is at 8% so let me wrap this up. Again i won't edit this simply because i dont want it to sound too formal. I want you to read it as my brain is saying it. Kinda like mind vomit. But heres the moral of the story. Know what the F you're talking about before you open your mouth. Your opinion is not as important as you think, so make it worth a listen. Lanza was not evil, he was insane, and with the right amount of attention, we may never even know his name... but now we do...unfortunately. 

Check out this powerful article by a mother of a child much like Adam Lanza....

http://thebluereview.org/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/




Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Here We Go!!

Lets jump right into it. No Intro. No bull shit....ok i guess a small amount of bull shit.....

What I am Listening to right now:




There are a bunch of contributors to this blog. we come from many walks of life... ok thats bull shit, we all grew up in the same neighborhood and have been hanging out since elementary school. well most of us have... @WAMIDS came into the group in 8th grade when he agreed to let us hit him in the dick on camera. (dont worry, you will slowly but surely meet the whole group... and no, were not using our real names..sorry). So we are a group of white guys from the same walk of life. The only thing that really separates  us are our chosen professions, which we will not discuss, but it gives us unique perspectives and "knowledge".. i use that term very loosely. This blog will be a dumping grounds for the shit we randomly think up and how we feel about the world around us. Think of this as "The View" for dudes who hate "The View" . 

editors note.. I dont edit jack shit. I feel the way i type truly represents my intelligence level. (PS  I misspelled intelligence in that sentence and changed it because thats F*&king embarrassing)

so....... HERE WE GO!



First of all before you learn anything, you must learn where the hell this "HERE WE GO" shit came from. I am sure, if you know any of us, you have heard it over 400 times, and you're probably sick of it. i Don't Care. We cannot take credit for the phrase "Here We Go" , in fact, we stole it. Im sure by saying that we are now breaking the law but lets be honest... no one is going to read this shit anyway.... maybe my mom will... in which case i should stop saying shit. SO.... where did "Here we go" come from? well i can tell u where it didn't come from...those annoying Bud Light Commercials. I enjoy bud light sometimes but i don't say here we go every time i drink it.....actually shit i might say it every time i drink it come to think of it.... damnitt. But thats only because its one of our favorite things to say.. GET TO THE GOD DAMN POINT,,, 

OK so the origin of here we go.... After these Messages.


OK enough dicking around. Here We Go stems from the latin root. HerusWegus Which means "A Unicorns Wing". Also, its a phrase that one of the most badass human beings to ever take a diareha shit on this earth uses daily. This "god like figure of Americana"s name?  Shelby Stanga aka Swampman Shelby of Ax Men. Our odd man crush obsession with this character led us to express joy through the use of his catch phrase " HERE WE GO!!!!" 


And another gem came about through his sophisticational fortitude. and that is "you're pissin me off james!" Which is used any time we are, well, pissed off... kinda self explanatory....



As it turns out we completely fucked this line up.... and up until about 5 minutes ago we have been using the wrong name... were dumb as shit, basically. but because we are stubborn we arent going to use the name Louis... were sticking with James... eat shit Louis. 

So thats the back story to "Here We Go". You're welcome. 

Thats it for me .

Suck it,

TURTLE SOUP TNITE!!!!


GOODBYE.